My Life Story (Part 2) - My Faith Journey (before marriage)

I was in grade 12 when I went on the mission trip (I mentioned in part 1) and it really changed my life. I was able to speak about my experience in 2 of my high school classes afterwards. I really wanted to do Missionary work in my future and help the poor. I wanted to use my life to make a difference. This is because I read a book called The Paradox of Plenty about how there is more than enough food in the world to feed the poor. the poor exist because of greedy people. it breaks my heart!

The summer after I gave my life to Christ my Mom took us to the Atlantic Christian Ashram camp in Berwick, NS. Its for all denominations of the Christian faith. Someone shared that they were asking God to reveal His love for them that week during camp. I asked God for the same, I wanted to know absolutely His love toward me. The next day during worship outdoors among the trees. We sat down on a bench somewhere near the back, off to the right side of the gathering. Soon I noticed a ray of sunshine coming through the trees in such a way that it was shining on me and not anyone around me. I felt the warmth of it and that is just how God spoke to me saying He loved me. I still remember just how real His love was towards me in that moment. When we ask, He will answer us!

After that camp we went to another Ashram camp in Newfoundland too. This was the first time I ever saw a person fall down in the persence of God. I didnt know what to think about it! I was wondering why someone was lying down and everyone was acting like things were ok. I thought they needed medical attention haha. i learned later that the Holy Spirit can come upon you so strong you canot stand. its called being baptized in the Spirit.

What I want to share most about going to Newfoundland is our trip home. We were driving late at night through Cape Breton back to the Annapolis Valley. Marilee and I were trying to rest in the back seat but my Mom was falling asleep driving. From time to time she would swerve a little. I tried to convince her to stop driving but she wanted to keep going. I was too scared to try to rest like my sister. I prayed that God would protect not only us but the other people on the road. 

Shortly after my prayer, a transport truck came up behind us and their headlights were bothering my Mom. but it was keeping her awake! She would slow down hoping they would pass but they stayed behind us. Faithfully. She even slowed down to like 30 trying to make them pass when there was a passing lane available. The truck seemed committed to stay behind us. Yes it was frustrating to my Mom but it was my answer to prayer! I was praising God in the back seat for keeping my Mom awake :) finally hours later it seemed it did pass, and it was a pepsi truck. i still consider that driver to be my Pepsi Angel! God showed me He cared for us and heard my cry for help in the back seat. ♡

My first job was at Greco pizza in Greenwood. my Mom got me the job my convincing the boss I was not like other youth, i was a mature, christian girl. I was the only youth hired there so one of the older ladies was resentful I was there. She was a single Mom with a few kids and was making the same wage as a high school student! She was rude etc but I just kept being kind to her anyway and eventually she started to like me. 

Everyone there knew I was a Christian. I used to sing and pray while working and witnessed to my co workers. One of them wanted kids so bad but wasnt able to get pregnant, i prayed for her everyday that she would and now she has 2 boys and became a Christian. Another coworker was constantly swearing saying JC about everything. It bothered me so much! After awhile God showed me that Jesus died for him too, I started feeling so much love and compassion for him too.

My sister volunteered at a kids program at a local baptist church and I went with my Mom one evening to pick her up. We ended up speaking with the pastor who was excited to have a guest speaker coming soon. It was someone from Ghana Africa to share about his agricultural work helping the poor to support themselves. I was thrilled. 

The speaker was David Mensah and I got a copy of his book called Kwabena that shares his testimony and how his work began. He was an orphan and had a crazy encounter with Jesus. He had so much favor on his life. He he came to Canada with a scholarship and got his Doctorate at  the University of Toronto. Its amazing. He married a Canadian woman and they began the ministry to help his people back in Ghana. Its in such a sustainable way.  They made one community self sufficient and moved to another one to do the same. I knew one day I wanted to go there to help.

I applied to go to either Atlantic Baptist University (where I gave my life to Jesus at the youth conference), or Nova Scotia Agricultural College. I got accepted for both and didnt know what to do. I wanted to grow stronger in my faith, but also to work towards the future of being useful to the poor. 

My youth group had someone from ABU visit to promote going there. One person out of a large group of us was going to win a T-shirt with ABU on it. Guess who won? I took it as a sign.. and also I emailed Canadian Baptist Ministries to ask what I should do to work with them. David Mensahs ministry was part of CBM. They emailed back saying they didnt know where in Canada I was inquiring from but a University in Moncton NB (ABU) had a Cross Cultural Certificate that would be a good start. Thats exactly what I wanted to do. It confirmed I should go to ABU (now renamed Crandall).

I signed up for a sociology degree with an attempt to accomplish the certificate on the side. There was no option to do the certificate alone full time. A little into my first year at exam and paper time I was really questioning what I was doing. I was going into so much debt with student loans and I just wanted to be free to help the poor. I kept going though and made great friends who were very spiritual. 

I went with them every Wednesday evening to Water and Wine church where they had Soaking nights. Soaking was simply resting with God and inviting His presence to have His way and fill you and change you. It was wonderful. I felt a bit weird sometimes to me as it seemed a bit selfish to always be asking for More from God. I mentioned this to someone and the whole next Sunday sermon seemed to answer that question about why we needed the Holy Spirit. I was convinced and started being more hungry for Him too. It changed my life.

I also went to a small church mostly for young adults. it was so refreshing because people were open and honest about their issues there. we are all imperfect people! i learned to just be real with people, open and honest. every week there I felt like God challenged me in another way to heal up. i had alot of issues with my sister and one week i felt like He told me she needed to know sge was loved. i told her i loved her and it really helped our relationship. i know God speaks to us and cares about the things on our heart. when we pour out our concerns to Him.. if we wait and listen expecting an answer He will show us what to do :)

The next times I felt concerned about the debt of university was causing I felt that $20,000 of debt was worth experiencing so much more of God as I had going to W&W. Pastor Marilyn had told me things about my childhood no one else could know. it was all a spiritual experience id never had before and opened my mind to the deeper things of God and the Holy Spirit. 

Coming to Moncton was well worth it. But I did decide after my 2nd year, to back out of the sociology degree. A friend had graduated that year and ended up working at Frenchies (used clothing) for the summer after graduating. My wake up call: A University degree does not give you a job. I got more worried about debt!

I decided poor people needed either food or health care so I applied to do nursing (LPN) at community college. I applied both in Moncton and back home in NS. My Mom lived walking distance to the community college in Kentville. I got accepted there and moved back home. I emailed the Mensahs in Ghana telling them of my new plans and they replied that they were just starting plans to one day build a hospital there. I took that as a sign :)

I went to a conference in Halifax with people from Water and Wine. It was all about the Fathers Heart with John and Carol Arnott from Catch the Fire (Then called Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship). It was life altering. When the rest of my group went for lunch each day I lingered in the quiet, reading my Bible, praying, reading promises of who I am in Christ and skipping my meal. I really pressed in for More from God.

They were teaching about Father types and I had an absent father. I didnt know what a father could be like. Even if I had had a great father, they said, I still needed God to show me Himself what it meant for Him to be my Father. I actually took out my contact lenses (as I knew someone else was driving me home) and tossed them away because Spiritually I wanted God to change the way I saw Him. I wanted to let go of everything I thought He was like and for Him to show me Himself.

 During the soaking time that day, I saw a vision (images in my mind). I saw myself as a huge crack in the middle of the desert and God was a huge waterfall that came and poured into the crack. Soon it filled me up but did not stop there... it started to flood the desert all around me. Then they had a prayer tunnel you could walk through were people stood on either side of you praying as u walked along slowly. When I walked through, I have never felt Gods presence as powerfully as that before. At the end I could no longer stand. I also was praying in tongues and couldnt stop. It was such an amazing, powerful experience I will never forget. 

For days afterwards I still felt tingles of His presence even when I was sitting in class at my LPN course. I had a Christian friend in my class who went to a United Pentecostal church. We became friends and I asked her the reasons why she only wore skirts and never cut her hair. Her answers (with scripture references) convinced me maybe God was asking that from me too. Really, I would do anything He required as He is more important than anything else. I began those two practices, wearing skirts and letting my hair grow. I went to an Apostolic conference with her. The worship was like we were all one big choir, and the alter call was the best experience I've ever had. they did not come along and pray powerful prayers over you, they just said to pour out your heart to God yourself at the alter! ♡♡

A while later I wasn't so convinced God was requiring me to do those things like wearing skirts. it is so not practical in the winter and for nursing! I felt that God doesn't care for anyone more or less depending on what they wear. He always looks at the heart. I'm not saying people who do those things should not, their hearts are beautiful before God. I still believe that it would have to be personal conviction through the Holy Spirit to lead me to do anything for God. I cannot go by what other people teach me. I didnt feel God Himself and His word was telling me to.

So many different denominations exist because so many people interpret the Bible in different ways. I consider myself not convinced of any one denomination. If anyone asks about my faith today I am simply a 'Christian'.  I consider myself non denominational. Its a personal relationship with God we are each participating in. Even your pastor will probably say something you disagree with some day.  We are each human and each on this journey learning from Christ. we need to seek Him ourselves for sure.

After God giving me a great burden for the poor, I prayed and asked God what was most important on His heart. I read Ezekiel 33 and I felt verse 7 answered that question for me. Israel is great on His heart. He wants them to come to know Him and know that Jesus is the Messiah they are waiting for. I knew there was a man in my Pentecostal church who had a huge heart for Israel so I talked to him. He lent me a book called Jesus for Jews full of testimonies about Jewish people not seeking Jesus but having various different stories about how they came to receive Him. So inspiring. 

We celebrated the Passover meal at his home and it was so powerful to know what Jewish people all over the world celebrate and how so many parts of the celebration point straight to Jesus! I really have developed a heart for Israel and a passion to learn more about my Hebrew roots. 

Being away from Water and Wine made me dissatisfied at other churches. It was hard to enjoy it as much after experiencing a completely Spirit led church. Their services started at 1pm and often did not finish til midnight. it was completely led by the Holy Spirit. we would worship for hours, we would soak, intercede, share prayer requests and testimonies. It was a celebration of all God was doing all thriugh the week in each of us. It built your faith and gave you boldness!! Sometimes there was a teaching, sometimes there wasnt. I missed it terribly. Sometimes I traveled there on the weekend just to attend then drive home. Once my sister and I drove there 4 hours and home 4 hours all in the same day. I even got a speeding ticket once but It was worth it.

My mom and I found a great Apostolic church nearby but it still wasnt the same. We spent so much time seeking God together though,  we went to different fellowships most nights of the week, soaking at home etc. We had so many nudge-worthy moments because often we would hear something we just read or heard at home or at another fellowship. Still, when I finished my LPN course I wanted more than anything to return to Moncton to W&W. I worked as much as possible as an LPN to pay off my student loans as fast as I could. I paid off my Nova Scotia loan before landing a job in Moncton and preparing to move there.

I was given a full time days position at Spencers Nursing Home. I had all my evenings free and never missed church as w&w started in the afternoon!!! I spent all my time off dancing in worship and praying for the city. It was strange though, my great group of youth at w&w mostly moved away shortly after I moved back.. and the services became more structured and less Spirit led soon after too.

I attended a Torah Study as well with a group of older couples interested in their Hebrew roots. My sister moved in with me briefly and we took a bit of hebrew lessons. I had a few great God experiences working at the nursing home but later went to work at the hospital. I got a job on a mental health children and youth unit. During my time working there I got a prophetic word during the summer at Fundy Camp that there was something unfinished with education that God wanted me to finish. I was living in Moncton near ABU and looked up what credits I needed to finish the Cross Cultural Certificate and I only needed 2 credits!!!! I was able to take courses part time while working to finish it. :)

It was time for the final practical work experience portion of the Cross Cultural Certificate. I had dreamed to go work with David Mensah in Ghana as teams years prior had been able to. I was sad to find out they no longer worked with them, but the professor sad he would see what he could do. It was 8 years since I had met David Mensah and dreamed of going there. The professor worked out the details and I was able to join a 2 week medical team with the Mensahs and then stay another 2 weeks afterwards to help in a local clinic. I was thrilled. My prayers and dreams coming true.

I was overwhelmed by Gods faithfulness during the trip and amazed that I was actually there. I cried happy tears so much. God had been faithful to bring me there after so long and I was grateful! But, after working at a nursing home and mental health so far I was out of my comfort zone to help with surgeries, post op recovery etc.. I also wasn't prepared to help much in the local clinic once the mission team was gone. I learned more from them, but was sad about their lack of supplies and training too.

After returning to Canada, it wasnt long after I felt the need to leave the mental health unit for my own safety. I applied for two %50 jobs and they gave them both to me as a full time job. It was on the surgical floor too... What valuable experience!!! I soaked it up and felt I would be more useful on my next mission trip.

Years passed. I bought a house and rented to several roommates. I had good and bad experiences. I had grown up with no males really in my life and was always warned against them. I had a few bad experiences with men over the years and decided I would be happier solo. God and I was just fine. 

I went out with single friends on valentine's day one year to celebrate being single. The rest of them ended up talking about boys and I stayed quiet.  One of them asked me if there surely was someone I knew I would consider going out for coffee with. I thought silently a bit then said.. "Someone like Joel. Not Joel, but someone like him." Joel was the first guy friend from church who had never expressed interest in me. He was respectful and his compliments were always genuine. He was a real brother. Generous and loved God very much. But I was not attracted to him. When I bought my house though, I had considered who I might leave my house to if I passed away and my mind settled on him. He also lived with roommates and would use my house to bless others etc.

It had been a long time since going to Water and Wine, but a great friend I used to go there with visited Moncton and we went there to visit. When I saw Joel after so long I was surprised at how he looked. He had grown a beard and had new glasses no longer with tape holding them together. I wad attracted... and since I already had my mind settled on what a great guy he was inside it wasn't long before he knew I was interested. Our first date we went to a quiet restaurant and talked for hours and hours. He prayed for me to have a dream that night as he dreamt all the time and I rarely did. The next morning I woke up crying because I was so overwhelmed with Gods love in my dream... that's just what Joel had prayed for!

We talked tons on the phone and I had many God moments. I took this as a sign he was right for me.  I had said I wanted to find someone I valued more than myself and could lay down my life for. I felt this way about Joel. He is an amazing person. I actually had written a list many years prior of what I would look for in a husband and he actually met them all!!! God help me to remember this, its so easy to focus on the few negatives and lusten to the enemies lies!!!

I was very hesitant to move too fast as other guys had with me and wanted to keep God my main priority always. We made sure not to become obsessed with being together and keep God top priority in our lives. I actually told him I loved him before we ever held hands. The first time I took him to the Torah Study group he got excited about our Hebrew roots also. To me it couldn't get any more romantic than that! Afterwards when we said goodbye it was a beautiful starry night. I decided it was the best moment there ever could be for our first kiss, so I surprised him.

Through our relationship we decided french kissing was something to leave for marriage. He also asked me not to wear tank tops showing my shoulders or ones that showed any cleavage. I was quite modest to begin with but I really appreciated Joel wanting me to as well to protect his thought life. We wanted to stay pure. Once we got talking about marriage and future plans we decided we would both wear white for our wedding. Also because we are both the bride of Christ.

We discussed my summer vacation dates and when we might try to plan a wedding etc. Joel had struggled financially and I knew that wouldn't be good in marriage so I help coach him on how to get our of debt and budget. He was saving up for a ring. I told him a lot of the nurses didn't even wear their engagement rings because they could scratch people or get caught on gloves. I told Joel if he wanted to get me a diamond to get me a diamond nose ring. (I had wanted to get my nose pierced:) 

I waited and wondered how it was going with that. Sometimes I couldn't help but ask but he said he was planning something just to be patient. I was waiting to tell my friends and family officially when he proposed rather than just our planned wedding date. One day he took me on a long drive to saint john to meet his passed family doctor. there was something he needed to talk to him about privately to prepare for proposing. 

Finally one day he took me for a drive and a hike out in the snow. As we sat by a fire he got out a wooden goblet he has turned himself out of olive wood. he poured in grape juice as I don't drink alcohol. He held the cup out to me and asked me to marry him. If you don't know, the Hebrew tradition is done this way. All the family is gathered and the woman is offered the cup.. if she drinks from it it means yes and all the family celebrates. Of course I said yes and took a sip. Then he opened a box containing a nose ring, but instead of a diamond was a blue stone. we both love blue. I was wondering how any of this had anything to do with visiting his doctor! lol. I had to ask, and he said a ring was coming later.

Needless to say I got my nose pierced the next chance I got, and later, the ring was presented to me at Jeans restaurant where we loved to go, and it was custom made so the sapphire stone he bought from his doctor was set inside so it would never scratch anything. Wow!!!

I think this is a good spot to stop for part 3 another day! Alot has happened since then :)